Enter the world of House Not So Beautiful where dirt and chaos reign supreme. Learn to live with things rather than fix them, put repairs off rather than face them. This parody will not help put things away, but will help put them in their proper and humorous perspective.


Article archive

A book related to each article

Links you may enjoy

Home and Garden and Tools!
Treat yourself!

Link to us

Visit these other humorous sites by the same author:

Middle Age and
Other Mistakes

Eat, Drink and
Really Be Merry

Pop Goes the Culture

Don't Tech Me In

What's New, Emu?

Laughing Matters Ink

I Was Absent The Day They Did That

Copyright © 2001–2007.
All rights reserved.
old flat ironIrons: In the Fire And Other Places
by Marjorie Dorfman

Where did the iron come from? Who was the first to think of it and how has it changed over the years? These and other "pressing" questions will be addressed below. Read on, no matter how you may feel about wrinkles.

antique ironAlthough no one can say for sure, it would seem that the first irons were invented around the 12th century as the starching and pressing of ruffled and fluted collars came into vogue. These garments required a specific type of care that could only be rendered by heat and pressure. There were three types of early devices: goeffering irons, fluter irons and sad (heavy) irons. (None of these are any relation to actor, Jeremy, who is and always has been his own individual iron and/or clinical depression or the blues).

Goffering was only for the very wealthy as the process was very complex and required much time and labor. Many of these irons were lavishly decorated and are quite valuable to modern collectors. They are slender rods arranged on a stand that were heated either by a flame or a "heated slug," which was inserted into the device.

Some fluter irons resemble meshed sets of gears that simultaneously crimp and press; others look like a large set of pliers that squeeze the cloth into a given shape and still others may take on the form of a mold in which a top piece is pressed into the bottom to shape the garment. Fluters reflect changing fashion trends and that is why there are so many different kinds. This iron utilized heat either via a hot slug or by direct application to the stove.

Sad irons were the precursor to all modern irons as they evolved into a single all-purpose tool when they weren’t preoccupied with personal depression or movie stars.

ironingThe iron as we know it today was in use by the 18th century. Two thousand years of trial and error developed the smooth pointed shape for the ironing of pleats and collars and a notch in the nose to iron around buttons. Weight was also a problem, as a big iron retains heat for a very long time. The problem is, it’s not so easy on human arms, especially those whose owners wished to count on their use for the rest of their lives. Eventually, iron makers realized that while the tool must be heavy enough to compress the cloth, it couldn’t be so heavy that it impairs the ability of the operator to use it.

early ironUp until the 1850s, blacksmiths designed irons. There were some flatirons on the market but they were nothing unusual and their demise was imminent after the 1871 improvement made on the "Sad Iron." Most noteworthy is the fact that the innovator/inventor was a woman, Mrs. Mary Florence Potts (who couldn’t vote but sure could think). Her patent concerned the handle on the sad iron. It improved it by making it removable and allowing the user to have many irons heating on the stove. (Whether or not the expression, "many irons in the fire" came from here is up for grabs.) When the iron cooled, the handle could be removed and attached to a fully heated iron.

Mrs. Potts became somewhat of a celebrity as she advertised broadly and focused on the growing mass market for appliances. The Potts Patent Iron became one of earliest commercial successes in the burgeoning post Civil War economy. The lady herself directed the company and was considered a very able executive. The Potts iron however, did not address the important problems of heat regulation and moisture as these factors were left to the judgment of the user. Ironing remained a dangerous job even though you could do a lot more of it than you could before Mrs. Potts came up with her most innovative idea.

water ironThe heating process of the modern iron went through its own particular stage of evolution as well. Regulation demanded that whatever method was employed had to assure the heat of the iron within the minimum time range needed to press the cloth without damaging it. Moist heat was soon discovered to be the best way of assuring this but it had to be applied either from an external source (dampening, press cloth) or from within the iron itself (sprinkling or steam). Wood and coal fires were often used, but ironing required an intermediary source, as the iron itself could not be exposed to the flame. Usually a fire contained by steel or cast iron was most effective, and the iron rested on it. The self-heating iron included variations that used charcoal or kerosene.

on to page 2 >

Save on Antique, Semi-Antique and New Persian & Oriental Rugs.
Shop Rugman.com!
Designer picks & collector pieces for your home.

Save on Imported Modern Persian & Oriental Rugs!

Become real-life MacGyver.

Sneaky Uses for Everyday Things

by Cy Tymony

Uses For Everyday Things, vol 1

Subtitled: How to Turn a Penny into a Radio, Make a Flood Alarm with an Aspirin, Change Milk into Plastic, Extract Water and Electricity from Thin Air, Turn on a TV with Your Ring, and Other Amazing Feats, this book is more than a simple do-it-yourself guide, this quirky collection is a valuable resource for transforming ordinary objects into the extraordinary. With over 80 solutions and bonus applications at your disposal, you will be ready for almost any situation. A very interesting read.

Click to print
Click for a printer friendly version of this article.