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Enter the world of House Not So Beautiful where dirt and chaos reign supreme. Learn to live with things rather than fix them, put repairs off rather than face them. This parody will not help put things away, but will help put them in their proper and humorous perspective.

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Don't Tech Me In

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I Was Absent The Day They Did That

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a hung-up SantaOverdecorating: How Many Flamingoes in Santa Suits Swinging from our Chandeliers Do We Really Need?
by Marjorie Dorfman

How much is too much when it comes to Christmas decorations? Why don't people who seem perfectly normal during the rest of the year know when to stop in the name of good taste? Read on for some answers, tasteless though they may be.

gift wrappingGift Wrapping: An Art Form With Some Dos and Don’ts
by Marjorie Dorfman

Do you get frazzled when you look at all those newly bought gifts you now have to wrap and make look attractive? Don’t you have enough things to do without worrying about scissors and tags and ribbons and how things look? Well, don’t fret. Here are some handy tips about gift-wrapping that just might make your busy life a little bit easier. Then again, they may not. Read on if you dare.

toys safe for kidsTips For Toy Safety
by Marjorie Dorfman

Why are some toys safe while others aren't? What can you do to ensure your child's safety at all costs? Read on for some light-hearted but sobering thoughts on the issue.

turkey cookedHouseguests From Hell And How To Send Them Back
by Marjorie Dorfman

Do you find yourself with houseguests you can't seem to get rid of? Maybe you are treating them a bit too kindly. Read on for some tips and a chuckle or two.

haunted houseIs Your House Haunted: Do You Really Want To Know?
by Marjorie Dorfman

What are some of the classic signs of a haunting? Are you sure you really want to know? Read on, if you dare.

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DVR Genie: So Much More Than A Lamp and Three Wishes
by Marjorie Dorfman

Is there such a thing as too much technology? This may be the question of the hour but don't expect any answer. Just marvel at all the improvements in home entertainment we didn't even know we needed in the first place, and if you can…enjoy.

spring cleaning toolsSpring Cleaning Tips: Should You or Shouldn’t You?
by Marjorie Dorfman

Spring cleaning is a necessary evil even you don’t feel like it. If you wait too long you will be into summer and then the mood is gone (and even if it isn’t, it’s just too hot.) Read on therefore, and get up and be counted or cleaned, or something like that.

closet overflowingCleaning Out the Closets: A Perennial Trip through the Abyss which is my House
by Marjorie Dorfman

How can you tell the seasons have changed? Just check your closets and know it's time to shift things around. Read on for some clues and hopefully a laugh or two.

serving knifeThe History of Cutlery: A Past Shiny and Neat
by Marjorie Dorfman

When did table manners develop? What type of cutlery was used when the world was young? Read on for some "sharp" details.

antique clothes ironIrons: In the Fire And Other Places
by Marjorie Dorfman

Who invented the iron and why? How has it changed down through the years? Inquiring minds want to know and you should too! Read on if you dare.

candlesCandles in The Wind, Home And Other Places: Wherever Did They Come From?
by Marjorie Dorfman

Who were the first people to use candles and what were they like? How has their production and use changed over the years? Read on for some enlightenment.

home roboticsThe Roomba, The Scooba and the Santa Maria…Cha Cha Cha
by Marjorie Dorfman

Are you aware of AWARE? Check out this new home robot intelligence system that will end the drudgery of housework!

feng shui candlesFeng Shui: Not Such Hooey
by Marjorie Dorfman

What is Feng Shui and what does it want from the Western world? Is it an elusive and profound truth or just a passing fad? Read on for some Eastern revelations, if you dare.

kitchen sinkThe Kitchen Sink: Wherever Did It Come From?
by Marjorie Dorfman

Where did the first kitchen sink come from and how were dishes and underwear washed before? Read on for some truth, if you can take it.

refrigeratorThe History of the Refrigerator: The Cold Truth and Hard Facts
by Marjorie Dorfman

How did people chill their food before the days of the modern day refrigerator? Why were some of the earlier ones very dangerous? Read on for some cold answers and some that may be just a bit luke warm.

Twice a year,Tea Collection designers explore a new region of the world, then interpret those discoveries into a collection of easy, modern clothing for children. We've been inspired by everything from the beautiful centuries-old Chinese craft of Yunnan embroidery to the graphic boldness of Brazilian street graffiti.

Hansen Wholesale was the very first company to bring ceiling fans and fireplace decor to the Internet. We've been in business since 1976 supplying these products to retail customers and wholesale buyers all over the country. But In late 1994, we turned left onto the information superhighway.

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